What To Do To Ready Yourself For Online Dating
So you keep hearing about online dating sites at every turn. Every time your favorite TV show goes to a commercial – every time you see a pop up add on the Internet, there’s an ad for dating sites like eHarmony and Match. If you’re alone and not finding good results with traditional dating methods, why not try an online dating site to see if it brings love your way? It’s no longer a taboo to use this format for dating, but there are ways to go about it that can be more harmful than helpful. Now that you know this, how do you go about navigating the waters online dating quickly and successfully, before even creating a profile? Let’s take a look and see how.
Before you even hit the “Sign Up” button on the dating site of your choosing, you need to ask yourself some questions and do a personal inventory so go into this process with the right frame of mind. One important question – “What do you want?” This will determine what you list on your profile, and possibly even which site that you end up using. Are you looking for a long term partner or a long term fling? What you write on your profile should reflect this, and so should your screening process when looking at prospective candidates. Don’t feel like this is set in stone, as you are human and are bound to change, but it is important to start off this process with honest intentions of the moment on the table.
The next thing you need to think about is, “Are you in the position where you want a relationship?” If you’re not, then you need to evaluate why you’re looking at online dating sites in the first place. There is nothing wrong with going on some dates and having some fun, but you’ll find that the older you get, and the more mainstream the dating site, the more you’ll find men and women who are looking for a deep and long term relationship, versus a casual fling. You need to be up front about your wants and needs in terms of dating when you speak with your prospects.
Another important question would be, “Are you physically and mentally ready for a new relationship?” This can mean many things to many different people, and there may be some preparations that you need to make before going on a date that will allow you to project self-confidence that will convince others, and yourself, that you’re ready for a relationship. On the physical side of this preparation, perhaps getting a makeover or even a haircut can make the biggest difference, and while looks aren’t the only factor when it comes to dating and finding your soul mate, it can’t be denied that looks and first impressions do matter. The moral of this physical preparation? Make an effort!
From a mental standpoint, get rid of any momentos or tokens from your previous relationships. You don’t want any of this old energy lying around. You want a sweep of new positive energy that comes from a new love in your horizons, instead of dwelling on the past. Don’t hold on to any emotional baggage or anger that you’ve had in previous relationships – forgive the lovers who have let you down so you don’t ruin the relationship you have the potential to be in, in the near future. Think your thoughts out loud about any residual emotions left behind from past relationships so you can move on.
One thing that you can do to welcome in positive energy in your life is to actually create space. This can mean different things to different people, but it does help. Clearing out a weekend of ‘you’ time where you can do things that you enjoy, or even cleaning out you drawers or closet, projects the feeling of space, and this is space that you’re going to need to maturely and fully capable of entering a relationship that may result from your online dating.
Still worried that you’re having a major emotional block? Then you may need to enlist the professional services of a quality therapist. Don’t think that you’re crazy just because you’re reaching out and getting help! This is a normal way to cycle through your thoughts and get emotional residue out of your system, and this is far better than letting emotions overtake an consume you, as this isn’t healthy. If you also have issues with your self-confidence then think about seeing a life coach or broaching the subject with the therapist, as they can do exercises and conditioning sessions that will help to mold you into a self-sufficient, self-confident adult who is ready to receive a loving partner into their life.
What will these efforts for you? They act as a clearing of the slate and a start over that will give you the emotional build up, confidence and self-esteem to pursue a relationship with a great person out there who will complement you. Don’t let anything hold you back from letting love in, and make sure that this relationship in your future is a chance for renewal – not a repeat of your last nightmare relationship. Take the lessons you’ve learned in past relationships and use it to your advantage, but don’t let them hold you back from the happiness you deserve.
Why take all of these preparatory steps before filling out your online dating profile, instead of jumping in head first with any preparation? Because if you just jump into anything, without putting in the effort of getting ready beforehand, you always end up selling yourself short. By not physically and emotionally clearing yourself out and renewing yourself, you may have issues in fully accepting love from a new person, and benefitting emotionally and physically from a relationship from a person who is right for you. Give yourself the best chance at success and relationship happiness, so you can better yourself and grow with a person who is truly right for you.